Time for another Ask Jana! Thank you all for your questions. You all are some food-oriented askers, I’ll say that. Read on…

Cody asks: Why do pop tarts make a line that does not have frosting? Why do Oreos keep trying to toy with their recipe and add flavors? Why are Girl Scout cookies seasonal?

I think perhaps the plain pop tarts because maybe people like to add their own thing to them, perhaps Nutella or peanut butter. Frosting is not a universal breakfast food. Oreos are an American institution except with this new watermelon flavor they have clearly jumped the shark, and I don’t mean in a Sharknado sort of way. Well, maybe I do. Sharknado was pretty abysmal. Girl Scout cookies are seasonal because there are child labor laws.

DC asks: What’s your very very favorite app?

I think my favorite is Zite, a news curation app that lets you pick topics you like, and then slowly learns what you read and don’t read so it’s even more attuned to your interests. I spend a lot of time learning on Zite.

John asks: What’s your fave New Mexican dish?

This is plebeian of me, but I enjoy eggs in a tortilla with chile all over it (red or green or both). There are fancier things like chile rellenos and enchiladas with an egg on top, but nothing beats breakfast with heat.

Zach asks: As a kid – did you ever order a Snow Cone in Tigers Blood flavor just because it sounded SO COOL and made you feel tough?

Oh heck yes. All the time. And once I had Bubble Gum and it was disgusting.

Morgan asks: Can you answer the almighty woodchuck question in a quantitative unit? What is your favorite preparation of an egg? Finally, if you could make an exotically shaped guitar, what shape would it be and WHY?

a) 157 Gogurt Tubes
b) Call me plain, but scrambled. Over hard is 2nd…runny freaks me out.
c) A pyramid because certainly it would channel something ancient and mystical.

Amy asks: What’s your favorite cd right now?

Hmmm…I think for an album I enjoy listening to from start to finish lately there are 2 contenders, neither of them exceptionally new. Ke$ha’s Warrior makes me happy, and Rose Cousins We Have Made A Spark is amazing

Ke$ha!
Tyler asks: Where’s all the candied cigarettes?

I don’t know, but between cigarettes causing cancer and fake sugar causing cancer, those things are probably dangerous.

Stephanie asks: Where have you been that you don’t want to see again?

Good one. I can find a redeeming something about most places but yes, that doesn’t mean I want to return. Maybe Hardin, Montana. That was a desolate town, and not in a romantic Western way.

Carol asks: Would you ever like to be a Mom?

Fascinating question. Short answer: I don’t think so? The only maternal instinct I have is for cats, which is more of a caternal instict. Also I have lots of nieces and nephews so that’s good and they’re fun to hang out with.

David asks: Jana, are you having fun on this tour? *trick question, I’m sure you are*

So far so good! We are in Denver and heading to Wyoming, one of my most favorite states! Yay!

Mike asks: what are your thoughts on Schrodinger’s kitten and its implications for the reality we live in?

I am aware of this novel but haven’t read it. So first I need to enter into a reality where I have read it and am able to give an informed opinion on it, which would probably end up stopping the Vietnam War.

Chad asks: Whose footprint is that on the inside of your windshield?

It remains a mystery, but my guess is…it’s maybe mine? I was probably passengering at some point. I like to stretch out sometimes. It’ll probably stay there forever. Don’t ever have a foot print on the driver’s side windshield, kids. That’s just dangerous.

Linda asks: If birth is the opposite of death, and life is in between, what is the opposite of life?

Linda answered her own question by saying, “Nothing.” Maybe the opposite of life is inaction.

Jon asks: Did Tennessee the same thing Arkansas?

I don’t know, but Iowa’s hoping so.

Amy asks: What would you do if flip flops were outlawed?

I would start training myself to be in the Barefoot Society so my feet would acquire one large callous on each foot and I wouldn’t have to wear shoes anywhere. It would be my right, as they have outlawed the best footwear ever. Also, I’d have to get over some major OCD to walk in some places with no shoes, but it is what it is.

David asks: What is the meaning of life. Besides 42, I mean…

A wise man in Alamosa, CO answered this for me last week…”Seek Joy. Seek deep, meaningful joy, and don’t put it off.”

Kristina asks: What are your 3 favorite numbers, colors, movies, foods, and articles of clothing?

Numbers: 3, 7, 12
Colors: Rainbow, clear, black
Movies: All the Hitchcock, all the Christopher Guest, and The Shining
Foods: Green chile, peanut butter, eggs
Clothing: flip flops, scarves, ironic t-shirts

I kind of cheat when I pick 3.

Corey asks: Why am I having trouble sleeping? Why do my senile dogs start barking at 4 am?

I am not sure on either, but I sense they are perhaps related. The senile dog just probably wants to get the senior breakfast special for $2.99 at Denny’s before it runs out.

Clara Marie asks: Why is it acceptable to have mimosas and screwdrivers with breakfast or brunch, but not a glass of wine or a rum and coke? The OJ in the glass is a negligible amount.

It’s because we are a civilized society, and the rules state that when you add fruit to something, the fruit overrules the other contents, making it ok to drink that early if you are indeed consuming it with fruit. That is also why frou frou drinks like daiquiris hardly count at any time. It is also why if you order a fruity dessert, it’s almost like eating health food and doesn’t count.

TC asks: Hey Jana – How would you go about getting a raise from a venue you have played at for years? It has never happened to me.

Ooo, good one. Well, I would say if you steadily pull in people to a venue whenever you play, that’s impressive enough to warrant a bump up. Another tactic, if it’s a restaurant or bar, would be to ask for your normal pay plus a percentage of their sales while you play, which would put a little less burden on them to just shell out, but allow you to earn more. If that worked for a while, maybe you could angle for a permanent raise. Bottom line, unfortunately, is that the numbers have to line out right for profit margins to make the venue agree to it. Fortunately, you can probably make that happen!

Michael asks: If you were Ice cream, what flavor would you be and why?

Some weird esoteric gelato flavor like basil lavender lemon mascarpone. No, Susan says that’s silly and that I’d be peanut butter chocolate swirl.

Anna asks: Which planet would you be best friends with and why? Excluding earth, of course. Pluto is still acceptable.

Probably Mars because I like the red hue and it’s the planet we all keep threatening to visit in person but never do, and that’s just kind of a mean thing to do. “Hey, yeah. We will TOTALLY come visit. Any day now. Absolutely.” Poor Mars.

Jess asks: What is the best way to split a ham and cheese croissant between four adults?

This warrants its own blog post, Jess. Excellent question and it’s coming right up.

Terri asks: Jana, what comes first, the words or the lyrics?

Terri, it’s a delicate balance between words and lyrics. Sometimes I just write words but they aren’t lyrics. Sometimes they are lyrics but they are always words. Yes, it always starts with words and sometimes they surprisingly morph into lyrics. The music never comes first, except when it does.