This is one of those potentially cumudgeon-y posts so I will qualify it with this first:

THANK YOU FOR BUYING THE MERCHANDISE. Really. It makes a huge difference in bottom line, sometimes. Gigantic.

That being said, some tips for a successful trip to the merch table:

1. Ask questions. We love questions! I will help you find what album the song you really liked is on because I know them inside and out. This is not always the case of merch table folks (some might just be volunteering and have no idea who the artist is) but then feel free to ask the artist! They know their albums the best, too. And I’ll admit it – the print is tiny, and venues are dark. Don’t be scared to ask what is where.

2. Don’t ask the artist or the merch person which one is their favorite. There are no favorites. If they had a favorite, why would the others be on the table? All the albums are great, so whatever you take home will be great.

3. It is kind of weird if you try on the shirt at the table and then don’t buy it, but I’ve let it happen before.

4. DON’T SET YOUR BEER ON THE CDS! Or the mailing list! Or the shirts! The merch is not a coaster. We don’t sell coasters. Same goes for coffee or whatever beverage is your poison of choice.

5. Be patient if it’s crowded. It is my job to help each customer and then accurately log each transaction so I can report it later. Help the merch person keep their count accurate.

I look forward to merching with you soon.